


it's the first day of spring

by RemoCon



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemoCon/pseuds/RemoCon
Summary: “I think it’s your turn,” Sam said, clasping his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.“Right,” Bucky said. “Here we go.”





	it's the first day of spring

Bucky knew, the moment Steve said he would be the one to return the stones, that he had no intention of returning. He wasn’t sure Steve knew; if there was something Steve had always excelled at, it was lying to himself about whatever dumb thing his heart had decided to do next. Bucky, however, had picked Steve out of too many alleys after he’d sworn up and down he wasn’t going to pick a fight with whoever it was that day to not know what was coming.

 

And then, there Steve was. An old man -- not quite like he should have been, because what they should have been by now is dead, but close enough.

 

“I think it’s your turn,” Sam said, clasping his hand on Bucky’s shoulder as he stepped back from the bench, the shield and all of Steve’s unwavering faith still too fresh to feel like a burden.

 

“Right,” Bucky said. “Here we go.”

 

The thing was, Steve had saved him. Time and time again. From Thanos. From Hydra, more than once. Hell, from Tony Stark. He’d never had to wonder if Steve cared about him, not really. In the grand scheme of Steve’s priorities he knew he consistently fell into the top three, right beside Doing the Right Thing and a certain British agent they knew way back when.

 

But being in the top three was different from being his number one. And Bucky had known all along that Steve had never been his to keep.

 

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said, and god, his voice. It was the same, and yet weak in a way Bucky had never heard before. Fragile in a good way; the other end of a life successfully lived.

 

“You here to return it?” Bucky asked, sitting down beside him.

 

“Return it?”

 

“The now finely-aged stupid,” Bucky said. Steve laughed, and Bucky couldn’t stop his mouth from turning upwards.

 

“Maybe,” Steve said. “I think you’ll need it more than me now.”

 

“You planning on dying on me Rogers? If I say anything too shocking, that heart of yours liable to give out?”

 

“No,” Steve shook his head, his eyes still crinkling happily at the corners, “No, not quite yet. Why? Got something you’ve been saving up? Did you want the shield? I’m afraid I’ve only got the one.”

 

“God no,” Bucky laughed, free of any bitterness there might once have been. “Sam’s got the moral code. I don’t need the right cause, just the right guy to follow.”

 

“You’re better than you give yourself credit for,” Steve said lightly. “Always have been.”

 

“You made me good. Always have.”

 

They lapsed into silence for a moment. It was a beautiful day, Bucky thought idly. The sort of day you could look back on later, and all the memories would have a pleasant nostalgic glow.

 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said finally. “I hope --”

 

“Don’t be,” Bucky cut in. “I hope you got the life you always deserved. I hope you and Peggy were happy.”

 

“Thanks, Buck.”

 

He didn’t ask how Bucky knew, but the ring was too obvious to miss, and like Bucky had said, he knew where he fell in Steve’s priority rankings. It just seemed unlikely he’d actually married Doing the Right Thing.

 

“There is something, though,” Bucky said, taking a breath, “Since you kind of owe me, just showing up out of the blue like this. I wasn’t sure how to say it before, but before you die on me here --”

 

“Not dying yet, Buck.”

 

“--before you keel over and die of old age, cause have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?

 

"I love you. I loved you. Probably always have. So there you have it.”

 

“Oh, Buck,” and Bucky was doing his best to look Steve in the face and not run from anything, so he wasn’t prepared to suddenly feel a hand on his, clasping him so tenderly. “I love you too. Loved you too.”

 

“I don’t mean in a friend way, Steve,” Bucky said, knowing Steve wouldn’t recoil away, but some part of him still preparing for Steve to take his hand back.

 

“And here I thought I had taken all the stupid,” Steve said, laughing again. “I know what you meant. It’s what I meant too. We just had bad timing. I didn’t realize until after you died -- until after I thought you’d died -- and here and now...you can be happy here. And you deserve someone who can make you happy here. Truly happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

 

Steve’s gaze flittered behind them for a moment. Too quick, almost, for Bucky to notice. Almost.

 

“I’d be mad at you for doing that fucking annoying Steve thing you do, just making unilateral decisions for people based on what you think best, but in this case, I suppose you weren’t the only one making that decision, were you,” Bucky said. “If I’d said something earlier, would this be different?”

 

“I’d hope if there’s one thing we learned from all the time travel, it’s that somewhere this is different. And that there was no other way this could go for us,” Steve replied.

 

“Bullshit,” Bucky said, a hitch in his breath he had been afraid would come.

 

“Maybe,” Steve said, squeezing his hand.

 

They sat there like that for minutes, or hours, until Steve had wiped away the last of Bucky’s tears, and the weight of everything that could have been — and everything that had been — between them felt light enough to carry back with them.

 

“Here,” Steve said, digging something out of his pocket. “I can’t exactly come save the day with you anymore, but if you ever need me, just call.

 

“See ya round, Buck.”

 

Bucky watched Steve walk down the path, stretching off into the horizon past the compound and into the real world where Steve lived now. Then he opened the phone in his hand, and dialed.

 

In the distance, Steve stopped.

 

“Bucky?”

 

“You said to call if I need you. I’m always going to need you, Steve, as long as you’ll let me. So I just wanted to let you know what a dumb idea it was on your part to let me have this. I won’t let you just fade away peacefully in your golden years, you hear me?”

 

“Okay, okay.”

 

“Good,” Bucky said. “Good.”

 

***

“I was starting to wonder if Steve had been kidnapped,” Sam joked when Bucky finally headed back into the compound.

 

“Worse,” Bucky said. “I think he’s got it in his head to try matchmaking for me.”

 

“Sure, sure,” Sam said, “I bet he’s got some pretty hot friends who are just your age from the nursing home.”

 

“Told him I’d come check them out next weekend. A double date like we used to before the war,” Bucky agreed.

 

“I would pay cash money to watch that,” Sam said. “Seriously. Please, go on a date with a nice old lady. I’m begging you.”

 

“Maybe. Or maybe I’ve got my eye on someone else,” Bucky said, shrugging. “I’m starving -- is there anything worth eating around here?”

 

“What does that mean?” Sam demanded.

 

Bucky shrugged again.

 

“Maybe I’ll order a pizza,” he mused. “I figure saving the world probably gets us free delivery, right?”

 

“Whatever, man,” Sam said. “Just don’t get something nasty.”

 

“Pineapple it is, then.”

 

“What? No, come on, I just told you, nothing nasty! This is the kind of shit that makes me think some of the damage Hydra did is unfixable. Pineapple? That’s un-American. Give me the phone, I’ll order it.”

 

Bucky idly tapped against Steve’s phone in his pocket. Maybe Steve was onto something. Maybe -- just maybe --  it was time to finally try something like happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> It's the first day of spring  
> And my life is starting over again
> 
> \- Noah and the Whale


End file.
